I hate being here, the people suck. But my dads falling apart and my grandparents are dying. I would be better somewhere with hookers or escorts. I have a personality disorder and i was molested a couple times. There is no dealing with it. Ill go from being suicidal half the year to being horny as f**k the other half. I didnt get to date in high school, or when i was in the military. I dont want to get to know anyone here, because im a damned mess. I just want to f**k, for a whole weekend maybe. This is why i would be better off with access to an escort. But my grandparents are dying.and my dads knees are rotting away.and i cant leave my f*****g family.and karma isnt even throwing me a bone on principle. So f**k it. F**k even tryin to go out anymore. F**k everyone. Im just gonna stay home, and save up, alone. And when this s**t show is over and im too old to enjoy it, ill finally get to leave. I wish i hadnt been born