I'm off my meds again. No big deal right? Unless your me. I've spent years coping with myself and my crazy and now it is spiraling out of control and I'm finding it hard to pull myself back in. I just got so tired of being asked if I was off of them that I gave up. Obviously they either aren't working or they were and I messed up. It doesn't matter either way, it's not like I'm being watched like I should. My mental health means nothing to my parents. I was supposed to be getting therapy years ago but I can't afford it and my parents won't help. I'm only 21 it's not like I'm old, I'm moving home in a month for crying out loud. I know I shouldn't be relying on my parents right? Frick you, I'm mentally unstable and sick of fighting this alone. I don't know why it's such a bad thing I want to rely on the people who donated to my genetic creation but apparently I'm a horrible person for hoping they'll give a shite. I'm just so lost, and so not okay and more alone than ever. I feel trapped even though I'm not. I just can't deal anymore. I want help.
And that's just it, because there are so many attention grabbing people who just want the world to be about them my problem get pushed aside. I get a bad image. I'm made out to be a horrible person desperate for attention but what is worse are the times I went to seek help and they treated me like a saint who survived horrible things to talk to them.
I'm sick of being told I'm strong because I dealt with sever manic depression by myself my whole life, I'm not strong. I'm not brave, I'm not a survivor. I did what I had to do to live through it.
It was only a matter of time before I broke.