Thats very hard to deal with when your a teenager, always on the brink of destruction. I truly, truly love life. This is a secret I hoped to share with someone, maybe they could relate to me, maybe I could relate to them, maybe someone knows how hard it is. When I go "down", I cant eat. I can not even stand the sight of food. I can hide the fact that I'm depressed from my friends, to them, I'm a ball of happy sunshine, but I cant hide the fact that I cant eat. When ever its lunch time at school, I always say I forgot my lunch money. Sometimes people become very concerned and buy me a lunch, and I have to force myself to eat it, which makes me feel very sick. Ive started refusing food all together and everyone is calling me anorexic (I'm already on the small side). Comments like that usually dont get to me, but even they guy I liked said he'd never date a girl with an eating decorder (which I dont have! ). Only when I'm down do I not eat, so when I get back up, I gorge myself in food just to sustain a body weight.
Ive been so overwhlemed that one night I spilled my guts to one of my friends, and shes telling me just to tell everyone the truth, but Id rather make people believe I'm anorexic than bipolar
What do you guys think? I'm sorry to ask, but I dont know who else to ask.