Abuse to myself and bullying from the world.

I've been abused everyday since I was born.After my father left when I was a few months old, my mom remarried years later.That "father" abused me.I had such ow self esteem that I would sell my body online for compliments from Fat Strangers.I started sexting, Cybering, and doing anything sex related at the age of nine.You know of course with NEVER having a boyfriend during it.On my 15th birthday I was locked in my room all day with my birthday cut out of the calender, so I sold myself online.Oh how many guys I convinced that my boobs were a 20 year old PhD student, when I had never even kissed a boy.When I finally got my first boyfriend at 16, I jumped too fast.I knew exactly how to take advantage of a man, how to give him a boner, and love me without being near me.I broke up with him as soon as I realized he was a loser.During all of this, I'm a christian.I've gone to church my entire life and yet I lived this secret double life as a porn star.I was abusing my head for so many years.
I also was bullied alot during school.I was known as being the Too Sweet or Too Giddy Christian Girl.I got posters hung up with things like Christian Slutbag and ugly beotch written on them.I switched schools and on my second day, Kids cornered me and threatened me with lighters and pocket knives.They gave me multiple death and rape threats.
I'm 16, a recovering love addict, a severely bullied and abused girl, a Christian, and a high school dropout who is so lost in the thoughts of suicide....
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StrivingForLove
You don't know how many people you would hurt if you did that. You might think you do but really, you don't.
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But what can truly make you a stronger person now is pulling yourself out of all of that. And you an do it. Don't be a pussy and commit suicide. Prove the world how wrong it was about you and make a difference in your own life.
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Proud2BGeeky