When I was a kid, my parents punish me for doing bad things by sticking a brush stick into my butthole. I couldn't explain the feeling, I guess it was horrible, feeling penetrated, but feeling very tickling as well. When I got older, my dad punished me harder by shoving things into my butthole. He never told me what he put in there but everytime I tried to poop I leaked some white goo. My mom punished me by shoving a plug into my butt and forcing me to wear a girl's panties all day until I got home. This happened everyday until I decided to leave home and stayed in apartment, where I spent more years being haunted by said punishments. My rectum would feel burning everytime I clenched my butthole, and it would gape involuntarily. I had gastrointestinal problem and mild incontinence. And sometimes my butthole somehow felt. Empty. Until I put my finger in for a quick fix. I dunno how to explain how I even felt emotionally. But so much depression and stress have been affecting me. But when I was almost convinced that said nightmares were no more, somebody mugged me of my daylights in the quiet streets, taking all of my money, and the remainder of my anus with him. I woke up in the alley, pants down with huge pain in my rectum, to find a Coke bottle lodged deep inside me, only to have it pulled out and a little blood trickling out of my gaping butthole, couldn't even clench anymore, my sphincter was ruined. Now I'm living in another apartment, completely locked myself in for months. All items are delivered to my doorstep. The door is locked with 10 deadbolts and all the windows are covered in newspapers, with a small hole to peek into the outside world. I'm incontinent because my sphincter can't clench anymore, so I often wear adult diapers. I also wear panties.