I’ll never have a conversation as deep and meaningful as the one I had last night. I got to talk about stuff I’ve never been able to talk about, with anyone, ever. I’ve waited my entire life for this conversation to happen, and now, I don’t really see the point of it all anymore. I got to take off my mask, and now I’m at peace.

Unfortunately, I’m not used to someone seeing such a primal side of me. I’m not used to sharing these stories or thoughts and having the person listening not only understand them, but agree with them to the point where they’re saying stuff that I’m about to say, and this stuff being the kind of stuff 90% of the population would ever think of. I mean that wasn’t just coincidence, she was literally taking the words out of my mouth and I was left both equally stunned and amazed.

This happened constantly over a period of five hours, nonstop conversation. Both of us just taking everything out of our pockets and laying it on the table to find that we carry the same exact stuff.

So what’s unfortunate about this? Well, to be direct, I don’t know. As beautiful as this moment was, it’s left me paralyzed and depressed for reason I have no idea why. I think most people would be ecstatic over meeting someone with such odd interests, but for some reason, I feel like I have to avoid her now. I know it’s a defense mechanism but what am I defending myself from? We’re cut from the same cloth, there’s no reason to hide…

I try and think to myself “What would a normal person do about this” but the fact of the matter is that neither one of us are “normal” so the underlying circumstances surrounding this are unique in a way that I don’t think anyone could ever possibly understand or voice.

But behind all this nonsense, there is hope. There’s hope that I’m not alone in this world, and that in between the black and white, there are fellow Grays, waiting to take their mask off and speak to likeminded friends.